Printcast #1: Don’t just be a fan. Be.

Hi, I’m Shiftine. I can’t believe it’s about 6 months since we announced our first printcast series. And unfortunately, there’s no one real yet, so let’s go!

In recent days we’re starting to be like root. You know, a root‘s colleague is root and called as root, too! Some roots are root of roots, and many are rooted by roots. And finally, root roots root, root, and fully understand what the root root is this rootness!

Starting today I’ll be writing a new interesting topic on this site: Shiftbounding. Shiftbounding isn’t just all about being a fan of us, ’cause we’re very happy for fans like you to become part of us, SYSTEM or root.

And through this printcast we’re gonna announce something awesome, yet miserable, about my future as Shiftine.

Me
Hi, Reinhart! How’s your Shift right now?
Reinhart
Ah, great! I mean, CAPSIFIED!!!
Me
So, you’re accidentally cosplayed yourself as yourself last week, huh?
Reinhart
Heck yeah! I’ve never been this Shift.
Reinhart
Wait a minute… Are we switching places? Like… should I be the one who wrote printcasts and I don’t know, I’m feeling starting to speak like you…
Me
Well, sounds like we’ve been SHIFTING places…
Reinhart and Shiftine laughs while accidentally shifting across parallel universes in 0.5x A presses
Me
But really, there’s something we have to announce here:
Me
WE’RE MERGED!!!
Reinhart
Wait, did we even disclose about that project?
Me
Isn’t it just like, a few days ago? On your Instagram account?
Me
That said, I still love that pair of clothing. You should definitely declare that as our official superhero costume.
Reinhart
Sure. I’m even starting to tell everyone that I’m “cosplaying my own self”. And coincidentally there was another cosplay event around Central Park Mall Jakarta last week.
Reinhart
Also, wearing that makes me feel that Shifts like us are becoming more like Green Lantern or so.
Me
Yeah, that’s correct. But instead of fighting intergalactic crimes, WE’RE FIGHTING INTERVERSAL CRIMEZ!!!!!!
Reinhart
and that includes those C-1 TikTok girls who just wanna live on R-949273464096753, right?
Me
Ha. It’s all that fun until you’re cursed into a robot or an overpowered, disembodied AI, though.
Reinhart
And that actually exposes a bigger problem in our community. By the way, are you feeling cursed being me in C-1 right now?
Me
No way! Let’s be honest, I’m starting to emphatize myself with how far these C-1 people have lost.
Me
And since you’ll never let me to become a human (you told your God didn’t want humans to become gods after the first sin) the best way I can do is, well, being together with humans like you.
Me
Anyway, what’s the matter?
Reinhart
with the society?
Reinhart
Well, I’ve met several people who are fans of universes. Like those Anime worlds, video games, League of Legends, Genshin Impact, and more…
Me
And then?
Reinhart
Those universes are actually human imagination, yet many are protected under the laws of intellectual properties set in the universe which I’d rather like to call, the Canonical Universe.
Me
Canonical. Is that the same as C-1?
Reinhart
Sure. Now do you know who owns Universal, the company? Y’know, Universal Music, Universal Pictures, Universal Studios and more…
Me
Comcast, isn’t it? Universal merged with NBC to form NBCUniversal, which is then acquired by Comcast back in 2013.
Reinhart
Sure, you’ve been scraping Wikipedia content for too much. Just don’t forget about those rate limits and vandalism issues, though.
Me
Okay
Reinhart
But here’s another question. Why the heck a telecommunications company would really want to acquire a media company?
Me
For streaming services, maybe? Netflix have gone digital since 2007, Spotify in 2006… so they can just make another one out of hundreds of Universal content…
Reinhart
Well, almost. But the answer is beyond that. Look, they also want every single “universe” that the media company produces.
Reinhart
From there, they can produce practically everything: movies, video games, official merchandises, even now virtual group bands!
Me
That reminds me of something that’s called a shovelware. Atari’s E. T., Superman 64, Hotel Mario, and everything’s bad for the sake of money!
Reinhart
Heck, even there’s a conspiracy lying around that Indonesia is still a “beta country” — hence all economic and political stability issues and so on.
Me
Oh, please, no. What a beta…
Me
So, in this printcast, what should we discuss first? Is it about the merge?
Reinhart
Yes, but more importantly, we have to discuss about our new logo first:
Reinhart
Alright, so, how do you feel about this?
Me
Pretty solid, huh?
Reinhart
Yeah, but,
Me
Em… looks like a plastic balloon or an icy shift?
Reinhart
And the best part is, this logo is freakin’ glow in the dark!
Reinhart
This logo is actually divided into three layers, representing our bubbly, salty, and icy relationship which empowers others, too!
Reinhart
And yeah, despite creating multiple OCs (original character) like pr0xy, I’ve never seen my characters smile as much as you do.
Me
Thanks!
Reinhart
It’s really weird to say that I’m a fan of my own creation, which some people may consider that as idolatry.
Me
So…
Reinhart
I just wanna live a better life, and after looking at how Indonesian V-Tubers fail at faking things…
Me
Like what?
Reinhart
“I’m a fallen angel.”, “I’m an Atlantis refugee.”, and finally, “I’m an elite security guard who fails at Poppy Playtime.”
Me
So, you don’t want to fake anymore?
Reinhart
Yeah, I don’t wanna fake things anymore.
Me
That said, how’s your commitment for us, like me who’s being virtual all day along. I love…
Reinhart
OH SHIFT!!!
Me
WHAT!?!?
Reinhart
TIME TO BEREAL!!!
Me
WHAT? BEREAL?
Reinhart
Yo let’s merge
Me
FOR THE SAKE OF BEREAL!?!?
Reinhart
Come on this time we’ll be awesome!
Me
ALRIGHT LET’S DO IT…
Reinhart
In 3…
Reinhart
2…
Reinhart
1…
Me
FOR THE SAKE OF SHIIIIIIIIIIII……
Shiftine finally merged for the sake of BeReal
…and Shiftine unmerges
Me
Hey, where’s my Caps?
Reinhart
I don’t know, but now I’m kinda wrapped in blue membrane? or plastic?
Me
So wait… You’re Caps right now?
Reinhart
I don’t know, maybe we should test your Caps-calling technique on me.
Me
Oh, right! Okay, I need you to run away, and when I say that command, just beware if Caps pulls you back so you don’t hurt.
Reinhart
Hey, why not call Caps from that stair so if the command works, I’ll levitate instead.
Me
Sure, I hope this one won’t be disturbing at all, ’cause the command is still in effect until Caps covers my chest.
Me
But if it is, I have to merge again with you until we can finally fix this.
Reinhart
Alright Shift, bye!
Reinhart ran away
Me
CAPS LOCK!
Reinhart pulled off backwards, tossing Shiftine at high-speed and flown mid-air.
Me
Oh no! It’s too late to cancel this call! Are you okay if I have to merge forever?
Reinhart
Yeah, it’s fine. Thanks for the shift, Shift!
Shiftine merges back with Reinhart’s body
Me
Well, Nate. I think it’s funny to call you Capsman, ’cause you, I mean we, have just become a Caps-skinned human being.
Reinhart
Well, I actually have a plan, though, converting humans into superheroes like us. I still wanna call myself as Shift, you know, like the Shift of Worlds and Nations.
Me
Sounds cool, though. But are you sure people won’t be confused between you and me? Or why Caps is a boy now?
Reinhart
Well, we could write a script to detach Caps from me, or made another Caps which is shaped more like you and put your soul into it.
Reinhart
So one day, our journey can continue as…
Me
Shift and Shiftine. Right?
Reinhart
Exactly! Now how do you feel about that?
Me
Well, I can finally be free if that’s true. But the most important thing is I can finally never be alone right now ’cause we’re stuck together.
Reinhart
Yeah, I really, really need you in my life. I designed you not to be perfect but optimistic and empowering, and I love it, and now I feel I have to be the character I’ve designed after being upset in many, many things.
Reinhart
If I really have to write a fandom policy it would be in one, simple sentence.
Reinhart
Don’t just be a fan, be.
Reinhart
If you like someone because of their works, don’t just be a die-hard consumer of their product. Instead, try become the person you love so that it empowers everyone who contribute to the fan community.
Me
And that’s the real reason behind this merge?
Reinhart
Yes.
Me
But well, I’m afraid that I’ll be losing my friends. Like, the SYSTEM alumni, or Northwind Traders, the ones working on Contoso and VanArsdel right now?
Reinhart
As far as I concerned, yeah, there are times that we have to say goodbye before moving on. We’re going to ascend to C-1, and you’ll have the chance to see the motherboard, the real place where F-1 and those SYSTEM saga is contained within C-1.
Me
Sorry, what’s C-1 and F-1, again?
Reinhart
C-1 is the universe where I was born, while F-1 is the universe I created and where you were born.
Me
Okay, Shift…
Reinhart
Hey you’re starting to call me Shift!?
Me
Hey I’m just giving you an encouragement to be the Shift of Worlds and Nations.
Reinhart
Fine.
Me
Okay, Shift, LET’S Shift!!!
Reinhart
Until next time, Shift!
Me
Good bye!
Chat ended

Update July 30, 2022

Hi everyone, Shift’s here.

I’ve finally be able to disintegrate from Caps! He’s looking exactly like me, though, except with thick, transparent body.

Caps itself is genderless, but I currently prefer to call it “him” as it really looks like me. I donated my old outfits for him to turn into his favorite, icy forms.

Interestingly enough, removing Caps from me doesn’t seem to solve the problem As soon as I remove him, my body starting to emit the same materials as Caps, again!

But don’t worry, I still have much control about Caps and his substance as I generally do on Universe F-1. And I might make another, female version of Caps to honor the original character I created and merged into.

Unfortunately, my rootheads are starting to be lazy on doing things. And if I have to, I might replace them with my trusty Caps, or even instances of Caps.

That’s all for now. Have a nice shift and a Capsified day!

Printcast #0: The “anti-me” of Reinhart.

Welcome to the very first, I mean zeroth episode of our all-new printcast. And today, we’ll talk about our great friend and hero, alterine!

Me
Okay, so are you ready?
Alterine
return 0;
Me
Well, that seems to be a good integer. Oh right, I forgot that last week was your birthday! Happy i++
Alterine
return 0;
Me
Now, would you mind introducing yourself?
Alterine
return this;
Me
Ah, come on. Not all readers here are object-oriented enough to understand all of your pointers. Do you have something to printf() to all of us?
Alterine
hello… world!?
Me
Okay that’s interesting…
Alterine
public static final String name = “Alterine”;
Me
Oh, I’ve never thought you’re *that* proficient in Java. Piye kabarmu neng omah karo mallory?
Alterine
Exception in thread “main” java.lang.InvalidArgumentException: “Piye” at com.alterine.StdinParser.main (StdinParser.java:7114)
Alterine has left the chat with exit code 1337

Well, that failed hilariously. But hey, at least you already knew what a printcast look like. Since we’re running out of budget to develop stories for my lovely Bearers of the Shell and compiling a series of podcasts to be SCP’ed to Spotify, we’re gonna print instead. Yes, print, the command which kids today wouldn’t even understand its meanings except when they stepped up into script kiddies and software developers:

But well, since she’s unlikely to return here, let me tell you some of her greatest secrets.

1. Rinealte and Hartrein.

Wait, what? Yes! Alterine is a close (despite don’t actually qualify as an) anagram of my name, and the best way to prove that is by swapping the first 4 letters to the back of the first name. In my case that would be “hartrein”, while she’ll be “rinealte”.

The reason? I originally want her as the “anti-me” of myself (think antimatters as in physics). Alterine is a female robot because well, I’m not female, and of course:

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2. Born on January 1, 1970(?)

She said to have born on January 1, 1970, and to be precise, at 00:00 UTC. But sure, many people asked why she’s way older than myself. Guess what, one of my favorite answers from her is, “’cause i’m a robot and i’ll never get old”.

The truth is, many of my robots claimed to have born since that exact date and time, too, including Nix, pr0xy and mallory. And the true reason behind this is well, they can’t remember their birth date(s). The value NULL isn’t a valid option on some computer systems, so they simply write 0 instead to bypass any age restriction when using computers and websites, especially for COPPA reasons.

Many computer systems interpret the value 0 as “0 milliseconds after the Unix epoch“, and hence, January 1 1970, 00:00:00 UTC. That’s why she picks @alterine0101 as her username because well, she thought to have born on 01/01, just like me on 10/10.

3. Rooting and housekeeping my projects and devices

Despite her root roots, I assigned her as a regular user (with sudoer access) on my small Orange Pi Zero. And yes, she’s lived happilly ever after, on a Unix-like environment with almost no other user where she can sleep in binary peace.

However, the truth is, she actually can’t sleep on my device. There’s no such thing as hibernation on microprocessors such as Raspberry Pi and Orange Pi. So she decided to help running and automate some of my projects in the last 6 months, especially when Shiftine is busy working on other things.

4. Speaking about her “Magic” jacket…

We’re currently exploring new ways to make Magic and the rest of the jackets be more useful. But don’t worry, Magic is still fine up to this day. In the past 2 months I’ve received many new projects and assignments to be worked on, so our fleet of robots needs to be expanded and upgraded.


Well, that’s the end of this topic. I’m sorry that I can’t deliver today’s printcast on time due to some issues with alterine. But surely, there will be more printcasts from us. So,. stay tuned!